Not so nice relationships!

Not so nice relationships!

We all hear about nasty relationships in our time whether that be from someone we know, the Internet magazines etc! Sadly people have to go through this everyday!

Unfortunately I can say I know how this feels, but have been luckier than some woman out there which breaks my heart! When reading this please don't be upset for me, I have well and truly moved on now and have a great life and have got over those days now and I'm ready to tell more people!!

So, rewind many many years, I was in this relationship, I was young,  it was a silly young love that we all have, everything was fine like most normal relationships..... 5 months down the line I had my suspicions this person was getting in with the wrong crowd, but I wasn't to sure as they had such ways with words and could hide things..... My suspicions became true but I didn't know this until well after the relationship had thankfully ended! They became paranoid all the time, I wasn't allowed to have friends, couldn't go out with my friends and if and when I did I was questioned who I was with, where I was, what I was wearing, where there any boys etc etc etc!

I remember one time being up the city and my friend walked past a boy she knew and at the time the text came through "Who are you with? are there any boys?" which I replied " T has just bumped into her friend P, I'm just waiting for her and then we're going off for food" then the next text came in where the nastiness started "Leave now if there's boys." WOW?! I obviously shew my friend and just ignored the text and tried to enjoy my day and put my phone in my bag and just ignored anymore texts after and carried on with our shopping trip. I remember looking round clothes shops at all the stuff I liked and wanted buy but was never allowed to buy as HE didn't like it and was always asking who I was trying to impress! I wasn't even allowed to wear eyeliner or loose weight?!

Things got worse, the paranoia got worse, I wasn't allowed to see my boy Best friend as he got in his head we where together and I just cut ties with him while we where together. I was so happy to have him back in my life when the relationship ended, and i'm so pleased he forgave me and he was beyond happy for me that I was no longer with this fool!.. and I still have this friend in my life today! (Shout to to you, you know who you are!... ;) ) I was accused of being a cheat if I didn't want to do something and must be getting it elsewhere... (I don't feel I need to go into detail here.. but you get it I'm sure..) I can say I NEVER did and never have cheated, why be with someone if you're unhappy?! Anyway, this was actually because he was the cheat... I would find messages and ask him all about them and he would cover it so well and say he was trying to set his friends up, I think I can count 5 that I knew of... and fell for all the excuses every time, but whenever I asked, the nastiness would come again, I would be called fat, ugly a cheat, no one will want you!!! Now when I look back I get so mad at myself that I put up with all of the nastiness, why did I feel my worth was nothing because of this low life?! I knew while I was in this so called relationship it wasn't right, I was fed up, and wanted it to end but I felt so trapped, I didn't have the confidence to stand up to him and end it, I never told anyone but I knew my parents had their suspicions, especially my Dad about how this person treated me... and now looking back I wish I told my parents, it wasn't that I didn't want to tell them, I did, and deep down I know they knew already.. but I felt that it was easier to just "get on with it" to save the hassle of more nasty words from this fool, how awful right?! I remember being out with my parents round one of our family friends and he had the cheek to message me saying "Go home now, i'm not allowed to stay round yours this late"and he kept texting and texting until I lied and said I had gone home and gave my phone to my Mum, I had told her through the night the texts he had sent me....

So the last time of him cheating, he finally came round and called it off with me, I was so happy but also upset as it was a short time I was with him but obviously thought I "LOVED HIM" of course I didn't... it didn't take me long to get over him or what happened, I believe this to be because of what I saw him as, and the wool was no longer over my eyes! But it didn't end there, there was so much more to come... constant texts, calls with all these nasty things again, I would ignore them, not text back and keep any logs in case it ever had to go anywhere! "You cheated, you left me, now leave me alone!" That's what I wanted to say but I didn't, it was best left unsaid! It took months until he FINALLY went away..... my weight had FINALLY been lifted, the old Jasmine could come out again, wear what she wanted, do what she wanted and could enjoy her life again!! I now can say I have the BEST life ever, I'm so happy, I have a lovely great little life, FULL of love, confidence, support and so much of it, that now I look back and laugh, see what I have compared to him, and who came out as the one on top of the world and that was me!

Yes I'm angry at myself for letting someone treat me and speak to me like that, but now I look back and laugh but also think what a great woman I am now! Don't feel bad for me for what you're reading, I'm here to tell anyone else going through similar, you've got this girl (Or guys) you can do this, be strong as hard as it is, don't fall for the lies, tell someone and try to get out, you will feel trapped and worthless, but I PROMISE you you've got this and someone will help you!!!

I'm now happily married, have a wonderful life full of happiness love and laughter and am so thankful to have someone as lovely as my Husband in my life, someone who loves ME for Me, doesn't care what I wear, who I'm friends with, trusts me 100% and loves ME for who I am!

Hope you've enjoyed reading this! Please don't feel angry or upset for me, I've moved on from that part of my life now, have someone truly amazing and am ready to open up to more people about this!

My next post will be a lovely one! "Nice relationships!"
I'm hoping to post weekly every Friday!

Lots of love

x J x

For anyone going through a badly abusive relationship needing serious help -

24hr National Domestic Abuse Helpline

Freephone: 0808 2000 247 (24 hours)

Refuge

Helpline: 0808 2000 247 (24 hours)

refuge.org.uk

Women's Aid Federation of England

www.womensaid.org.uk

Men's Advice Line

0808 801 0327 (Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm) 

ManKind 

01823 334 244

In an emergency, call 999!!!